An Ode to 31

I am approaching another trip around the sun completed, and what I am about to say is cliche but I am okay with it. 31 has felt like an eternity, yet I still feel like I am living in my mid twenties. This year zoomed with intensity, but at the same time felt as slow as molasses on a cold winter day.

Most days this year felt intense. Good. Bad. Mediocre. Any feeling and emotion amplified. This meant the hard no good very bad days felt more dramatic, but this also meant the good days were the sweetest of days. This is the first year in a while that I haven’t been able to articulate the fullness of emotions, thoughts, and feelings I have swirling around my brain to those I hold close, in my journal, or even to the Lord. I have felt things more deeply than I ever had and even though it seemed almost impossible at the moment, but now I count it as a blessing.

Now if you are reading this, welcome to my process. This is a habit I try to implement every year. Reflecting my year, writing down what I learned, and putting it out there. I have found it helpful, humbling, and eye opening as I prepare for another year. Now, my heart in letting you see my wildly messy process is that I hope that you can relate. That the shame of “no one else can relate” is crushed. Or maybe it won’t do any of that, but maybe you get a good giggle out of it.

Here are the 31 things I have learned while 31

Routine is important.
I always prided myself on being spontaneous, which is fun, right? But this year showed me the importance of rhythms and routines and how that discipline actually creates some pretty great fruit in my life.

Grace is key.
For myself and others. This one will always be a life lesson but I am grateful for my Heavenly Father constantly showing me what that looks like in the most graceful way.

Community is also key.
I could write a book about this one, but I am so grateful for my community and am truly a better version of myself because of each one of them.

Being a dog aunt is great!
This one has given a ton of opportunity to love up on my fur nieces/nephews and has taught me a LOT of about patience *cough cough ELSIE**!

Communication is SO important.
I feel like this past year especially has created a level of complexity in our lives that is unlike any other year which means more communication.

Clarity is kindness.
This piggybacks off of the one above, but one of the best ways to be kind with someone is by simply giving clarity.

Pride will literally tear down everything around you.
This year I walked in more pride than I would like to admit and once I finally picked my head up out of the pride I was walking in I saw the amount of destruction it caused. Big oof!

Celebrate even the little things!
My roommate and I have a tradition that anytime we have something to celebrate we grab a sparkling beverage to toast our little or big accomplishments. Once we are finished we keep a token from that moment and put it in a jar in our living room to remind us of the things we have celebrated. Some things that we have celebrated are Sara moves in, Sara gets a new whip (aka new car), M’s last first day of law school,M’s first trial, and M’s first date no show. There are so many things in our everyday life to celebrate. Do it.

Not doing something or thinking about it causes more stress/anxiety than actually taking ownership of it.
Life is full of uncomfortable moments. Running away or avoiding these moments are only going to create more anxiety and stress. Like my friend Shia Labauf would say, “JUST DO IT”!

Slow down.
I usually live life in 6th gear most days, but slowing down has been fruitful. It was and still is uncomfortable to slow down. When I slow down I feel the intensity of emotions more. And if you know me, I already feel things deeply and intensely, so slowing down feels like the last thing I want to do.

Ed Sheerans Shape of You is still a bop.
Be mad, but I am right about this one.

A lot can change in a year.
That can be a scary thought, but it is also such a powerful and freeing thought.

Traveling can do the heart good.
It brings rest, a fresh view, new adventures, and gratitude for what I have back at home waiting for me.

Grace is important!
Important enough that I put it in here twice!

Doing anything apart from the Lord is miserable.
I might even say it is literally hell to walk through something in my own strength and thoughts than leaning on the Lord.

Even if it feels like one storm after another I still have grown.
Some of the most growth happens while I am going through a trial and it doesn’t feel like the “fun” growth I hoped for.

If a movie comes on after 8:00 pm there is a 100% chance that I will fall asleep!
The limit does not exist for the amount of pics that have been taken while this has happened.

I love my people and my people love me.
Even when it’s hard.

Gummy bears are the superior comfort food.
They are my ride or die and I am so so grateful for them.

Rereading a book can be better than the first time.
My Brene Brown books know exactly what I am talking about.

Never settle.
Just don’t do it!

Life doesn’t have to be perfect to be wonderful.
Do I have this hanging on my wall? Yes, and I read it everyday.

Life is short. Send it!
Love that person just a little more. Take risks. Fight for relationships. Enjoy the everyday things.

Wearing a watch is a game changer.
Just get a watch and please be on time!

Grieving doesn’t get any easier no matter if you have grieved before.
It’s messy, but it is important.

Scream singing in the car is the move!
I might look like a total NUT, but it’s always worth it.

Take walks.
It is a great way I like to implement slowing down but not stopping.

I am doing better than I think.
I am my biggest critic and I need to remind myself that you’re doing good, MacIntosh!

Having a creative outlet is important.
It is wild how much more free, rested, and fulfilled I feel after I have created something.

A good candle can change the whole day!
Big man-dle fan and have those sucker burning whenever I can!

It’s okay to ask for help.
It’s actually one of the strongest things I can do!

If you made it through that, you have a glimpse of the beautiful/hard lessons I have walked through this year. This year is for sure one for the books. So cheers to 31, you have taught me more than I would have ever imagined and at the same time provided me with some of the best humans I could have ever imagined! 32 I am excited for what you hold!